Miss South Carolina, your time is up

Jackson's response: "Derek went off a little bit this year on a -- moment in which he has exercised his leadership and talked in generalities about the variety of -- you, know, when you have kids, you know, you may have one kid that you raise this way, another kid that you may have to raise a different way. Then he looked at a group of guys -- even when you have dogs and you have a pitbull and you may have this -- somebody may have a lap dog, you raise them differently because he realized this group of kids were too young to relate to having kids.

"So eventually we got our own group of dogs," Jackson continued, and there was more, but sorry, Miss South Carolina, your time is up.

Trapped In The Closet, Part 7

Game 3: Well, we knew that was coming. Role players at home, etc., etc.

In other news, did you know?

A) Kevin Johnson (former Cal Bear, former Sun, owner of one of the greatest playoff dunks of all time) is running for mayor of Sacramento

B) He's close -- down 7 points with 29% undecided

C) He'd be closer if not for rumors of some RKellyish behavior

Laker Mancrush

Let Them Play

It seemed like the refs took a page from the Bad News Bears fanatics. (let them play)

They swallowed the whistles, and let two teams, and two incredibly well coached teams duke it out.

You could almost smell the offensive and defensive counters between Jax and Pop. It came down to execution and the depth of the Lakes just seemed to suffocate the Spurs whenever they attempted a deep breath. Kobe played his role to perfection, but there were just some obvious moments where Phil threw in triangle nuances that either got Odom into the paint about 3 ft. from the basket or some other play capitalizing a role players strength. It just continually clicked.

Side note: Ginobli has been given every excuse in the book...his ankle...his shooting hand's fingernail....ehem...since when do the champs make excuses (about finger nails). I recall Kobe has only 4 fingers on his shooting hand, and had been playing this way for months.

With the Spurs I can only assume game 3 will be disconnected and unique. It will be there for the Lakers, but you have to beat the champs to be the champs. I have faith in our
resolve, belief, and consistency. And our depth, especially with the recent Ariza siting!

• Chris Paul going coast to coast just makes a defense helpless. Why didn't he press the action like that in the middle of the quarter? Did Jennaro Pargo put NO on its back and carry them or did he lose the game by hogging the ball? I was shocked that so many Spurs role players came up big on the road, that doesn't happen much.
• Accuscore says that if the Spurs and Lakers played 10,000 games, the Lakers would win 6,330. The average score would be Lakers 101.5 Spurs 96.6. The Spurs would blow out the Lakers 17.4% of the time and be blown out 39% of the time.
• Accuscore forecasts Kobe to average 33pts on 43% shooting and 13 FTs a game, plust 7 assists and 7 Rebounds. Jordan Farmar will score 4.2 pts per game.
• Do you realize that N.O. and the Spurs each scored exactly 645 points in the series? That's a close series.
• How does CP generate gaudy assits numbers? Generous scoring (2d item): ""West received the ball from Paul at the right free throw line extended at the 4:40 mark. West pump faked Oberto off of his feet, took four dribbles, made a spin move into the paint, came to a jump stop, did an up and under move and then shot a jump hook." Assist.

I love this Spurs - Laker series for its excitement. But I am very afraid that San Antonio is better. Their D takes away preferred offensive sets well. We'll see if Gasol can comfortably settle into the high post and initiate the triangle. San Antonio also defends against the three very well.

On the other hand, the Spurs will carve up the Lakers D. Who guards Duncan, Lamar or Gasol? Straight up and get in foul trouble? Or send double teams, scrambling after the Spurs passing around well spaced shooters with their slow rotation. Then its up to the Spur three point shooters or Manu and Parker to drive against the Lakers rotating D for baskets at the rim. And with the D chasing the ball and drivers, it gives Duncan and Thomas opportunities to rebound. The Lakers best defense is to score 110 points.

Our best hope is context: the Spurs played 2 tough series (Parker looks worn out) and must open at Staples less than 48 hours after walking off the court. The Lakers can blow them out in Game 1, squeak by in Game 2 and then they won't lose 4 out of 5 like New Orleans. If the Lakers lose one of the first two, I think the Spurs find their sea legs and get on course for the finals.

NBA ... Where Creepy Happens

I starting thinking about tonight's game 5 against the Jazz, which began to just make me sick. Not sick like angered, but definitely a little vomit in the mouth sick. Maybe it was last night's Courvousier and my Sugar Free RedBull breakfast, but there is just something nauseating about the Jazz. Could it be the fans? Could be.

***Spoiler Alert --- View link first ***





Things wrong with that photo (w/ help from Deadspin comments)
1. The tie over the t-shirt over the black collared dress shirt. Classy!
2. The doll, it's wearing a mask. This leads me to believe the guy brought in a blowup man doll and a mask. Not sexy.
3. The guy on the left conducting his own porn shoot. When guys with dolls go wild!
4. They are not in Colorado.
5. How fucking hard is it to Spell Kobe!?!? It took him two tries.
6. The photo is obviously doctored. The left side of the photo including Kobe contains a Laker fan, an Asian, and a Black guy. Clearly not in Utah.

Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together

I don't have much to say about that game 3 loss other than: we knew that was coming. Hopefully the Lakers will be ready in game 4 to get past the pushing and hacking, and just play their game. A few fewer turnovers and a couple of made freethrows down the stretch and we STILL would've won.

Anyway: on the lighter side of the news, there's this.

Mike D'Antoni, new coach of the Knicks. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!

He. He he. (phew) (catches breath)

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!

high basketball IQ

Bryant said: "We have a high basketball IQ, collectively. That's why I believe we'll be playing in June. Because we all think the game extremely well. "

Man, don't you miss Nick "1-2-3-Cancun" Van Exel, Samaki Walker, Kwame Brown, Caron Butler, Kareem Rush, Von Wafer, Devean George, Smush Parker? Low IQ, chuck & duck basketball was a Staples Center, er, staple.

At least we have Vlad "WTF" Radmonovich to remind us.

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

M-V-P !!!

M-V-P !!!

M-V-P !!!

This is two years too late, but finally Kobe is getting his props. Do you think people are noticing that 2-time MVP Steve Nash is a defensive liability? And certainly the NBA was a little stung when Dirk had to come back from vacation to receive his MVP trophy (named after some jew lawyer, go figure; no offense -- some of my best friends are jews and lawyers).

So it's about time. Lebron and CP3 are great, and deserve to be all-NBA, but will either of them be within sniffing distance of All-NBA Defense 1st Team? To be fair to Paul, he deserves it more than Nash did two years ago, but now he'll have to bide his time because this is the first of three in the next four years (ala Magic) for Kobe. He's 29, and the prime of an NBA career is 28-32. The rest of the West should be scared.

I think if we'd set some pre-season goals, they'd have looked like this:

Standard Goals:
1) Keep Kobe a Laker (check)
2) Improve the backcourt (check)
3) Sign or trade for some championship-caliber talent (check)
4) Win 46 games (check)
5) Make the playoffs (check)
6) Make it past the first round (check)

Stretch Goals:
1) Win the Pacific Division (check)
2) Unload Kwame for something more valuable than a bacon-wrapped hotdog (check)
3) Get home-court advantage in the 1st round (check)
4) Win the #1 seed in the Western Conference (check)
5) Kobe MVP (check)
6) Make it past the 2nd Round (incomplete)
7) Win the Western Conference (incomplete)
8) 2008 NBA Champions (incomplete)
9) Kobe All-NBA 1st Team (incomplete)
10)Kobe All-NBA Defense (incomplete)
11)Bynum Most Improved (nope)
12)Phil Coach Of The Year (nope)

If I were the Lakers manager, I'd say they deserve a promotion and a big raise. Work well with others, can-do attitude, exhibit leadership skills, etc.

But now I have a big assignment for you: go beat the Jazz in 5 games. You're the MVP Kobe, go get it done.